Have you ever been on a date where, instead of having a smooth, flowing conversation, you didn’t really know what to say to the girl or what to talk about all the time? There might have even been some awkward pauses because of this. This is of course something we want to avoid at all cost. Let me share some tips with you to guarantee you will never again run out of things to say when talking to girls, or even other guys, for that matter.
#1 Context over content
Men are generally very logically minded, meaning they want everything that comes out of their mouth to make sense, have a certain structure and plot to it, make sure their words convey the right things and so on. The truth is that girls are quite different in this regard. You have heard me go on about how girls are more emotionally minded than guys a lot, and with good reason. For them, it’s not so much about WHAT it is you’re saying, but more about HOW you say it.
So what does this practically mean for you? Well, the delivery of your words is more important than the actual content of them. You could talk about the coolest, most exciting travel vacation you had where you did all kinds of crazy, adventurous activities, but if you convey it in a logical, boring manner, it won’t spark a lot of emotions within the girl.
On the other hand, you could talk about something more mundane or even boring, like going grocery shopping. How is that going to spark emotions within girls? I hear you asking. Let me give you an example of what I call ‘painting a picture with your words’:
“So the other day I went grocery shopping and it felt completely different than usual. Instead of mindlessly going through my grocery list of items I need to pick up, I went on a journey in my head. I arrived at the vegetable isle and I was struck in awe at how amazing it actually is that all of these exotic fruits and vegetables are at our disposal after just a five minute walk. I imagined early humans having the greatest struggle to get their hands on healthy, nutritious foods, having to fight of other humans and animals in an attempt to survive the day, whereas I could just pick them out at will, ever so peacefully. They were all there: A red, glowing bell pepper, a bright yellow banana, a big, healthy pineapple. I felt so grateful for being able to just pick anything I liked.”
Such stories are amazing to get the girl engaged into your conversation and to spark her emotions. It will feel for her as though she was there, picking out fruits to eat with you.
On another note, it’s also important to pay attention to your tonality and confidence with which you convey yourself. This, too, is far more important than WHAT you are saying.
#2 Transfer your energy
Here is a useful fact: People are easily influenced. Especially subconsciously so, without their conscious knowing. This means that, if you find yourself in an upbeat, positive state, you are likely to transfer this positivity to the girl you are interacting with. Likewise, if you are having a very logical, dull or boring conversation about a topic neither of you really care about, this dullness will also affect the both of you.
That is why I would strongly encourage you to talk about stuff you’re passionate about. That way, you are more likely to be positive and excited when conversing with girls, and she will be attracted to your passionate speech about kitesurfing, chess tournaments or your stamp collection. It does not matter in the slightest, at all, whatsoever, what it is you are passionate about. Whatever it is, talk about it with the girl you are with. Convey your passion, and chances are she will be very attracted and consumed by the way you talk about life.
#3 Don’t limit yourself
Do not shoot yourself in the foot by being afraid of talking about certain things. Realise that you can talk about literally anything with girls. Do not be one of those guys who goes through an in-depth screening process with every sentence he comes up with, which goes something like this:
“Oh yeah, that sentence seems like a good reply. But is it interesting enough? Or is it perhaps too weird? How will she respond to it? What will she think of me if I say that? And will it help me seduce her?”
Please, none of this kind of thinking. Put your agenda of getting laid aside and just try to have some genuine fun with this girl. There is not a lot that will get the girl attracted to you more than when you are being authentic, fun and engaging all at the same time, instead of weighing your words with every single sentence that comes out of your mouth.
#4 Chain of associations
Here is a great exercise I have for you: Whenever the girl says something, anything at all, try to start a so-called chain of associations. You can easily practice this when you are alone. Here is what this means: Take the following sentence as an example: “I am not attracted to girls with curly hair.”
Now, try to start a chain of connected topics to any one word from within that sentence, say: ”hair”. It could be anything related to the word “hair”. For example: “I am so bad at growing a beard.” or “I imagine it’s a true hassle for girls to shave their legs.” As you can see, these are very random topics of conversation, but they are related to the initial sentence. If you master this skill of coming up with related topics, and if you combine this by painting a picture with your words, chances are you will be able to keep talking for eternity and beyond.
So there you have it: How to never run out of things to say. If you enjoyed this post and/or have any more questions, please leave a comment down below. Also, I would greatly appreciate it if you could rate this post below. Don’t forget to sign up for our newsletter to receive more free advice, free books and free courses. Until next time!
Did you like this blogpost?